When trans women are told that they need to stop being assertive and strong because it is a sign of male privilege - invariably by “feminists” who, of course, encourage cis women to be assertive and strong - that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women are pressured into being silent, rarely offering their opinion, and refusing leadership roles for fear of being seen as male or accused of having male privilege, that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women are afraid to analyze or discuss the role of male privilege in their life because of the way accusations of male privilege have been used as weapons to silence, shame, and misgender trans women, that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women do analyze and discuss the role of male privilege in their lives and come to different conclusions than the dominant cis feminist perspective and are told it is because they simply don’t understand privilege or are ignorant of feminism, that’s transmisogyny.
Of course, this addresses what to many is a felt need. In a world where gender nonconformists, trans people and people of color (the ones who aren’t adorably so) are mocked, harassed and even violated, often in public, for how they look, there are reasons to promote an affirming culture. But as venues like the Sun highlight queer style as desirable, mainstream affirmation comes with normative strings attached. Listening to queers give each other fashion advice, I’m struck by how much they’ve internalized both the language and dictates of magazines like InStyle: “You need a pop of color, honey!” and “Wearing a belt will give you a waist.”
What if some of us don’t want waists? Is there a place in this world for sloppy and unfabulous queers? Can we decide that, for some of us, dressing up is precisely that: something we do on special occasions?